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[Aug. 9th, 2007|01:07 pm] |
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Watching Anthony Rapp get his ass kicked... this has been the highpoint of my day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|01:02 pm] |
So basically, I'm casting our high school class by Battle Royale which is quite fun. There's Yumiko and Yukiko (Alis and Eliza), Sakura and Kazuhiko (Cruz and Gideon... I think... whoever she was dating), Kazuo, Sho (Michael), and Shinji:
"I am not a playboy!"
...sure, Bryan. Sure.
[But seriously, folks. He's not.]
I'm not sure why I'm reviving this journal, and of all things over Battle Royale, but, well. Here it is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2006|12:41 pm] |
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I'm not really using this journal anymore, except for forums and things. I have a new one. Let me know if you want to know what it is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|06:50 pm] |
"they have an intimate relationship that began when they volunteered to be body doubles in the picture Brokeback Mountain"
Never thought I'd hear *that* about my teachers.
So last night was awesome. I was allowed to go to the show afterall, and actually I really like The Hickmen. They sound a bit like the Eagles' '94 release. It's always nice to watch someone play the guitar when that someone knows what he's doing.
I ended up quite ill and in a lot of pain all night, freezing cold with an awful headache and about to vomit. It was so bad I woke up my mom at two o'clock, crying, and laid down with her for a while. Everything got a bit better after my vomit session this morning.
Happy Thanksgiving! |
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| My To-Do List |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|12:31 pm] |
Saturday
-Begin to read The Stranger
-Finish No Exit
-finish outline for AP Gov
-summary and questions 1.4 for psych
-find at least two philosophers for Philosophy hw
-learn through line 225 for drama
Sunday
-Finish The Stranger
-4+ Gov essays
-finish Margaret's speech for drama
-math |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|08:42 am] |
Wahey! It's good to be home!
And I absolutely adore this new habit people have of giving me yarn! It's brill. I can't for the life of me say why but in the past few weeks I've been given 12 skeins, four of which were given just last night from Gramma's friend Julie. 4 1-oz skeins of virgin wool, maybe lace weight, I'm not certain. And there's this great mohair-rayon blend from my aunt.
Admittedly I'm in the middle of making a blanket right now, but I have until a year from now to finish it, and imagine all I could do with these yarns!
Other than that... I have been in Utah. Indeed, in Utah. It was okay but waaaaay too much time with my family. The Shakespearean Festival was fun and I got a clever T-shirt; Antony and Cleopatra was disappointing but, of course, The Merry Wives of Windsor was fantastic.
I've started a journal for stories... um, that probably only interests Mark and maybe Holly but if anyone wants to have a look it's called "Notebooking".
So, that's my news.
Strangely vivid memories of a dream I had last night: Gaby and I went to an Adam Pascal concert which was on a campus very like UCLA, but in the Brentwood theater, and he was doing shtick but I had to go to a "family conference" in Mr. Shih's class because Rachel had a B in Spanish, so I missed the entire concert. That's right. Mr. Shih made me miss Adam Pascal. Fucker. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|02:09 pm] |
I'm still determined to do a concert write-up, since I've not stopped thinking about it, but I've just got 20 minutes now, then I'm off to meet a counsellor... college, not mental health... for now:
Today was my first day playing individual notes. And fuckall, I've not even seen West Side Story but I had 'Maria' stuck in my head. Adam Pascal's voice singing, though, so not too bad, eh? It alternates, my mental jukebox, between 'Maria' and the song about his wife. Occasionally an Eagles song sneaks in there, 'My Man' or 'Desperado' or 'Hotel California'.
Mark-- the story about someone being teased until he cried, was that about Jani? As in, "Cherry Pie" Jani? |
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[Jul. 29th, 2006|10:30 pm] |
Just got back from Adam Pascal's concert and, well, I'm really tired right now so tomorrow I'll do a better write-up. I was taking notes for the duration of the concert (about 90 minutes), so I have that to fall back on. For now, just some quotes:
Adam Pascal: This is a song that Larry and I wrote--
Audience member: Aaw.
Adam Pascal: [mocking] Aaw! We wrote a song, we didn't have sex! ...We were cuddling while we wrote it.
Me: I really wanna know if he's Jewish. It says in the libretto he's from Long Island Sound--
Mom: Then there's a 75% chance.
Me: I think it says originally the Bronx, though.
Mom: Okay, an 85% chance.
Okay, that's all I have the energy for. More later. 'Night! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|12:17 pm] |
Ugh, I feel sick. This is not good.
I haven't eaten much in the past two days... tea, toast, chocolate milk. And as thrilled as I am that my smaller jeans fit, I'm worried, because it's not that I don't want to eat, but I can't. I mean, I tried. I got two bites of a sandwich down and couldn't open my mouth again. So I've had a bottle of water for lunch, and a handful of popcorn.
Although this qualifies as an eating disorder-- especially if I don't do something-- I know no one will see that. Being overweight means, hell, you can stop eating until your damn fingers turn yellow-- I'd know, having done this-- and no one will say a word. In fact, they'll encourage it.
Fuck.
I get dizzy whenever I stand up too quickly. I really don't like this and don't want to feel this way at the concert.
And there's another problem. This is bad. I know that.
... so why does a part of me not want to stop?
Sometimes I scare myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|10:40 am] |
notes to self (despite the cut unrelated to Anthony Rapp or that delightfully smutty story):
( Lesson #1 ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2006|07:12 pm] |
Heh heh... Mom called me earlier:
"Who am I getting tickets for, again?" (I've been so excited about this concert, I swear I talked nonstop about it for 10 days)
"Me and Gaby?"
"No, who are you seeing? Adam Rapp?"
Facepalm. "Adam Pascal. Adam Rapp is a writer, Mom."
"Spell his name."
"P-A-S-C-A-L. Like the triangle."
"Yeah... Oh, G-d, I'm so embarrassed."
I'm so seventeen... and loving this particular second of it! I am very cliche and surprised to find that I enjoy my cliche. |
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| Random Musing |
[Jul. 26th, 2006|12:40 pm] |
So, I'm really happy right now. I overslept and missed class, but... it happened once. It's the first time I missed and it won't happen again.
Gaby can go to the concert! YAY! Now just assuming we can get tickets... But I'm gonna go ahead believing we will.
Jagger's in my room, asleep under my desk. She is *adorable*. I swear, Jagger is... Jagger is my life-partner. She stands outside the door crying to come in, and when I do let her in she goes directly to the desk chair and looks plaintive until I pick her up. She's so sweet when she falls asleep under the desk, which she tends to do during the day.
Rachel finally burned AIDA for me, so I've been listening to it practically nonstop for the past couple of days. Adam Pascal has way too sweet a tone in 'Like Father, Like Son'. That doesn't make him any less awesome! It's just... it shouldn't be a pretty song!
In summary, very happy, all is well... a nice change from my usual entries, huh? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|08:38 pm] |
I was sitting outside just now and it was the strangest thing... I was sitting outside thinking how nice it looked, what I saw through the archway, the hill dark with a few lights put on and the sky like an old bruise and a splash of blue, and the deep blue wall and the red on the door and purple in my room, and it was so hot and damp but the tiles were nice and cool and the wall was rough so it just hurt enough to be nice. The light was on but only juuuust bright enough to read by, and I sat outside joined by a nice book (and a nice popsicle) and it was the strangest thing because I felt good. I liked it and I liked myself and it was thoroughly strange but very, very nice.
Still a feeling lonely and down and definitely not all right with my mother, but I feel better now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|06:43 pm] |
Mom's reason for snapping at me yesterday: I had a chance to go out, and didn't. So because I didn't want to sit in a room full of small children for three hours, she... punished me? Oookay.
Today I turn around and there she is, didn't knock or anything, standing in the middle of my room with the top two buttons on her shorts undone and she's scratching the undersides of her breasts and I think... you come into my room without even knocking, you do THAT?!
And she calls me a prude.
She's angry again because we were going to make dinner together but I refused to help her make some no-fat no-carb no-anything good Weight Watchers dinner. "Fine! You don't like what I make, you can make dinner for yourself and I'll make something for the rest of us."
Upptiy cow. I make as many dinners as she does.
I'm so sick of taking this shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2006|03:38 pm] |
Mom's on the warpath. I don't know why. We were going to the market today. Rachel was in the back. I had my feet propped up, like usual.
Rachel: Can we put the air on?
Me: It is on!
Mom: Quite heavily, actually.
Rachel: Okay, well, I'm not getting it.
Me: And *whining* will make that better.
So then Mom turns to me and snaps, "Could you NOT do that? Every time you do that--"
"Yeah, everything is my fault."
"Do you wanna go home?"
Well, let's see. Ya forced me to come on this trip, we haven't gone three blocks and you're snapping at me. "Yes."
Now she comes into my room, as per usual without knocking and says, "Okay, I have a bunch of papers for you to go through."
Rachel comes in. She wants me to go out to the movies with her. I don't wanna go. I just want to stay home, relax, work on my computer. I don't go out a lot. The only movie I'd consider is Pirates and it'll be too crowded and crowds make me uncomfortable.
They're getting on my case so I say, "What? I don't like going out on weekends, okay?"
And Rachel says, "Um, well, you're probably not getting to see it then."
"That's fine." I'm not really that fussed. I don't get hyped up about Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom and while I'm sure Pirates has its moments, I'm not really a fan.
So Mom is just SO FUCKING PISSED and she doesn't say a word but she makes it clear how upset she is. And I don't even know why. I'm so sick of putting up with this. If she wants me to clean my room, fine, then she's going to have to do something about my depression. She seems to think that depression is cured by...
"How about soccer/fencing/yoga?"
Idiot. Especially when she's the one who thinks she can say any shit she wants and the next day pretend it never happened. She screamed at me in the middle of Waterloo station once. "You know what? Don't talk to me anymore. Just don't talk to me!"
You don't say shit like that to your 13-year-old and then just not ever mention it again. You can't tell someone that "No one in this family likes to start up a conversation with you" and then magically expect that person to just hang out with you whenever you want. You don't get to use the double-standard and expect love.
And let's talk about writing. She wants to read my stuff. Last time I even tried telling her about it her comment was, "Oh, that sounds just like a soap opera." Time before, she finds a story I left out to edit. "Oh, it's about RENT." So why would I show her anything just to have her degrade it like that?
And now I know there's a lecture coming. Another fucking lecture before she goes out tonight. Another lecture, another scar, another day gone between me and college.
I have to get into NYU. I just have to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2006|09:50 pm] |
Conversations I never thought I'd have...
Mom: ... and then Mickie showed up with her cousin. He's visiting from out of town.
Me: Cousin visiting from out of town, huh? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?
The Todd has definitely been an influence...
Hats off to anyone who caught that reference. |
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firegold's journal
